Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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