I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
