Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
