Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
