that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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