I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
