i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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