apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
