shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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