We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
