Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
