you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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