i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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