Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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