Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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