did you get engaged???
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When did angry sex become our thing?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
