"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
smell my finger.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
