Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
