its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
