I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
