All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
