All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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