I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
