Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
