now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
