I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
