It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
nutella sex= disaster
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize