dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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