If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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