I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
