so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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