I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
