you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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