You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
