I wish my penis had an off switch
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
