How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
