My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
