Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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