The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
