i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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