Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
