She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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