All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
