Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
