You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is that strawberry winking at me??
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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