I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
