dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
