Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
