1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
