i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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