i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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