plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
